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2nd-Nov-2005 07:36 pm - hello new here

Hello everyone, I new here to live journal, and new to the community feature,can someone feel me in on how it works??

Here is a little about me, I am a stay at home mom to two boys 7 and 3. I have been married 12 years and I am a displaced Texan (by choice) living in Washington State.  I am really excited to be here and learning more!!!

Melissa aka missjewell

23rd-Oct-2005 03:19 pm - All The Dreams Are Horses
Sometimes I wonder if we should go to the Dream Store and there should be someone there in charge of dreams who also knows are heart and our capacity to hope and endeavor to make dreams come true. Say there is a race of life and you have a lot of horses you want to put at the gate. Can you train all those horses?

In my heart of hearts, my pasture is lush and green. There is a meandering brook on the shady side. The horses eat the grass, they drink the water, they are strong and young in the sun.

I take care of them. I give the special ones alfalfa and oats. Some particularly lovely ones come inside the barn at night.

Still, there are only only so many hours in the day. I can only ride so many horses.
It breaks my heart to hear them whinny when they see some other ones get to go out, and they are left behind the fence. But I turn around, straighten their forelock, kneel down so my breath is mixed up with their warm horse smell, and inhale all their spirit, promising them they will have me tomorrow or even in three hours, before I kiss them on the nose and get on the other horse and ride off.

But time gallops on. It gallops on some more. It takes up the ground in bigger strides than does my best horse of all.

And inevitably, I can only ride so many horses in the race of life.

I can only spend an hour at the gym instead of the two hours I long for.
I can only clean the house so long before I feel exhausted and stop.
I can only be human, and feel tired after I work a day of work.
I can only be the mom I know how to be, and that is trying to do it all,
even while I remind myself I can't have it all at once. . .just have it all
at different times.

Because every season will find me riding a different horse.

The horse I am riding today is my Sunday Horse. It is the horse that I pick over all the other days of horses. She has long legs and all the burrs from the week are combed away from her mane and tail. So the wind can blow it all around without anything snagging it. Her coat is dapple gray, with silver dollar spots all blended in, even though you know that after many years of Sundays she will be white.

Riding her is great. We sleep in. We make late morning breakfast from scratch. After we see that the house is taken care of, we even take the dogs to the dog park, knowing they have to have a bath when they get home because the dog park is so doggy. :/ Then we go to the gym. Then we come home and see that the Dad horse has done the laundry and it is just like handfuls of alfalfa to see that. Then everyone else goes to play golf, and we go in the office and look all around at the horses that have been waitingwaitingwaitingwaiting here. Here is Palomino Book, Sorrel Book, Light Bay Book, Dark Bay Book, Strawberry Roan Book, Piebald Book, Paint and Pinto Book (we haven't figured out if there is one or two plot lines there for those ponies),
Black Book, Brown Book. There is no White Book. White Book Horse will be Sunday Horse turning old. In the meantime, Sunday Horse and I look at all the other horses and long to spend time with all of them.

So we nuzzle each one wherever it is in this office barn, and breathe in their spirits.
Then I get off of Sunday Horse and decide that today I will ride Strawberry Roan Book. She has not been out for a long time and she is champing at the bit. But I want her to run fast today, run, run, run, run, run, and run where she wants to go so I will ride bareback, and I will let her out of the gate with only a halter and a lead rope. My legs slide into just the right spots on her warm sides. It's all those years and years of being forbidden to use a saddle, so that I could get a seat. . .and I find mine as she trots off, prances sideways from the blowing palm tree fronds, and starts to canter, rocking rocking rocking toward what we are going to write about. Now she is galloping.

And her galloping is racing against the hoofbeats of the clock, against the gathered strides of hours that we will never have again. Measure for measure, we remember our spirit and we run. The sun is still up. The road is straight. We run!

I will bring her back tonight and put her away. And I will kiss Sunday horse hello and goodnight. It was a good morning for her. And Strawberry Roan is content for a few days out in the field. She won't be frustrated tomorrow morning when I leave all the horses behind and get in the van to go to work. No horses there.

But after work I will drive home. All the horses will be waiting for me. I will ride the most important ones first, the Homework Horse, the I Am So Proud Of You And You Are A Great Kid Horse, and glare at the rogue Dinner Horse that I wish would run away by itself so I never had to deal with the concept of him again,
and the Is There Anything You Want To Do Tonight Horse will lope around for about 3 hours. Then most of the regular stable will be quiet, slumbering, and I will come back into the office barn. I will pick another Book horse to ride.

To ride, ride, ride against the hoofbeats of the clock, against the gathered strides of hours that I will never have again. Measure for measure, we will remember our spirit. And we will gallop. We will run. It is our race.

Because all the dreams are horses, and horses, need to run.
19th-Oct-2005 11:22 pm - Am I crazy?
Ok Im just walking around Target. Im in one of those moods where I go for nothing but walk around for 2 hours and buy crap I don't need. So I did a horrible thing. I stopped at the Starbucks that they have inside the Target store. I bought my daughter a Strawberries and Creme drink from Starbucks. I bought my not quite two year old kid a $4 drink to keep her occupied during my shopping trip. Aren't I terrible. What is wrong with me?? Couldn't I have just given her a toy? Well, technically it has strawberries in it so it has to be healthy right?? Uh actually it looked like he squirt some kind of strawberry liquid in the cup. In my defense the kid doesnt eat a darn thing so Im lucky to get that in her stomach!
For years I've wondered if Zachary was one of those kids that get what they call night terrors. Sometimes he'll wake up, well not really wake up, but get up out of bed, walk around in a sleepy dazed confused manner all while crying and talking/mumbling. It's actually kinda scary sometimes.

Thankfully it doesn't happen very often but about 1/2 hour ago, I heard some noise and then heard Zach crying. I ran upstairs to find him at the top of the staircase (which is scarry) in this confused manner crying so hard that streaks of tears were running down both cheeks. This doesn't happen often on my try to act tough 8yr old He kept mumbling something, but wasn't ever able to make out what he was actually saying. So, after trying to gently shake him awake, I got him calmed down and was able to get him to sit on the bed until he woke up enough to just settle down and lay back down and close his eyes, and I know from experience that he never was truely awake during any of this.

Brooklyn has never had any of these types of episodes, just Zach. But I do have a friend that has a daughter do this on occassion too.

Zach has been known to sleep walk in general, these terror/nightmare type episodes are very rare, but all of it worries me sometimes, hoping he doesn't get hurt in his sleep.
15th-Oct-2005 12:52 pm - DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE, ME
So I just went to Starbucks to get caffeinated tea. I am sorry. I cannot do no caffeine. But I have lost the venti lattes. That counts, right?

And I run into Sophisticated Mom I see driving my school routines every day. Sophisticated Mom is wearing a shell pink down vest (it was to die for cute, yes I swear it was, what was not to LOVE?), pearl drop earrings, a cashmere cream sweater, and has a 5 million dollar Dooney and Burke purse slung over her shoulder and I know it is 5 million dollars because I lusted after it on QVC, but of course, don't have 5 million dollars. And her weaved blonde hair is tousley and her blue eyes are sparkly. It is windy out, and she looks adorable.

"What are you doing today?" I say.
"Oh," she says, "just came from soccer. Out now to fill the cupboards."
"You look like that for soccer and filling the cupboards?" I hear myself saying. (Note to self. DO NOT SAY THAT OUT LOUD NEXT TIME)

Sophisticated Mom, who actually is truly a giving and talented and nice person (and I have this on many reliable acccounts from moms standing next to me who comment wistfully as she drives by in her Hummer, waving graciously) says, "mmm, thanks," with a smile, reshouldering her Dooney and Burke purse that I am coveting even though tomorrow is Sunday.

(Gnashing, gnashing, gnashing of teeth! Do you know what I look like when I go out to fill the cupboards? Well, let's just say I am reglossing, remascaraing, in the parking lot, and you can still tell that I have been with 20 six year olds all day who say things like When are we going to paint? and Can you tie my shoes? and Look, Teacher! Look, Teacher! I can read this! Brown Bear, Brown Bear, what do you see?
and I am sorry, but it is true that that takes some of your iron out of your blood by the time it is 4:00, and that is what time I am out to fill the cupboards)

"What are you doing today?" Sophisticated Mom says politely.
SO WHAT DO I SAY OUT LOUD! I COULD JUST DIE THINKING OF WHAT I SAID. . .now I know I have to tell you. . .


"Oh," I said airily, "just emailing NASA."

Sophisticated Mom arches her eyebrows. "Really, what are you doing that for?" She is curious, properly impressed with the NASA word. ("You're emailing NASA?" my husband said in disbelief last night. "At two o'clock in the morning. HELLO! I practically shouted at him. NO SCHOOL TOMORROW! "Well, okay," he said dubiously. Don't stay up TOO late.")

"Oh, I have a book coming out on Monday. And the dad is an astronomer. So I figured it would tie in to the NASA gift shops. . ."

At this point, I sadly think of the Amazon numbers that I watch like the falling New Year's Eve globe in Times Square. . .are the numbers good? Do people like your work? Is your book doing okay? Is it wanted by the people who love books and put them on their shelves, so carefully, like jewels in a golden box? . . .
"You know you have to think of places to market and strategize."

Another arch of the eyebrows. "Oh, well, good luck with that."

Here is my tea. Her turn to order.

"See you later."
"See you later."

Am I a Desperate Housewife wannabe or WHAT?
14th-Oct-2005 05:21 pm - Family Essay? What do you think?

This is the link for my essay.
I'd love it if you would let me know what you think!

Cross posted for feedback :)
14th-Oct-2005 01:25 pm - My Intro
Hello everybody. Im a proud mommy of 2 little ones. (ages 3 1/2 and almost 2) and I am 21. My husband and I have been married for 4 years. I work in a childrens hospital.

Feel free to come check out my journal and comment if youd like to be added as a friend :)

I look forward to getting to know the fellow moms in this community.
11th-Oct-2005 11:02 pm - Hi, Everyone
Hi, Everyone :)

I am glad to find this group. I love Live Journal, and wish they would have had it when I was in high school.

I have 2 kids.

I am currently doing the juggling mom life. It is hard to work (teaching first grade) and do everything the way you want to do it with your own kids. My job is wonderful, but it tires me out!

I also like to write children's books. It is my dream to also write a book something like WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY? Because I have a lot of answers for that question! lol

It is nice to meet all of you,
and I look forward to being here.

3rd-Sep-2005 11:58 pm - Intro
Hey all I am Katrina, SAHM of 3 beautiful daughters (Mary 5 years, Lynda 4 years and Nycole 2 years) Married to Joe, which is currently serving in Iraq in the active army. I joined to try to get some help with Lynda. She doesn't get that 3 not 4 comes after 2 LOL. It is getting me sooo frustrated. Her teachers want her to be able to write the numbers already. I don't believe that they should have to write them til they know them lol. So now I am having to try to do both. Anyways I hope to get along with you all and to be able to get and give advice where needed.


29th-Jul-2005 09:02 pm - A New LJ Community! Join Us!

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